just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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