I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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