I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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