we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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