I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize