The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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