I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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