come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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