I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize