Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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