Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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