i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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