My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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