that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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