I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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