I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dick very happy bro
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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