That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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