Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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