woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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