So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize