Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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