he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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