I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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