Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize