youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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