He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize