I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize