So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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