I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize