drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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