Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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