We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
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Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
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Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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