Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize