hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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