Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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