I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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