I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize