Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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