Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He? As in you personified your dick?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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