hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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