the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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