Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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