goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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