I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize