If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize