I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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