rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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