Your mouth is God's brothel.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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