I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Houston, we have a blender
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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