would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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